Nola's Birthday

Here's Dad holding baby Nola 10 years ago. I miss my father a lot, but I'm thankful for all he did for my kids as a wonderful grandpa. Now, of course, I'm experiencing the special thrill he's showing here of holding a new grandchild. And I'm also mindful of the special relationship with each grandkid as they grow older. My dad loved kids and birthdays, so we will think of him when we gather to celebrate Nola's.

Another year has gone by since Dad's death on this day in 2010. A lot has happened in the last year, not to mention the past eight years.

First, and most importantly, Mom continues to thrive and enjoy great good health, in spite of some issues and challenges that are not surprising for someone who is 89 years old. Mom has become the real lynchpin in the Sigurdson family since Dad's passing and she has always had such strong relationships individually with each of her children, grandchildren and now great-grandchildren that she makes us each feel unique and loved for who we are. And she continues to inspire us with her literary capacity, her warmth and her wisdom.

Mom and I were comparing notes on how many people would not be alive today if not for us. And the list is long. Go forth and multiply has been well-followed in our family.

Just yesterday, of course, we welcomed baby Ragnar James Lafferty, Lorraine's and Mike's first child (and my first grandson). As has been noted by many, Dad would have loved the Icelandic name. And I love it too. But he'd love Ragnar whether he was named Charles or Abdul (as would I). Dad had a special connection to children and they to him. BTW, here's 12-hour-old Ragnar:

And from the archives, here is Dad with baby Nola.

It is hard to believe that this little baby will be turning 10 this month. Although their time together was short, I am glad she had the chance to meet her Grandpa Frank -- and even more glad that he got to meet her. It is still sad for us that Nola's Grandpa John never had the chance to meet her. His far-too-early death reminds us how fleeting life can be, and how much we need to cherish our time together while we can.

I miss them both, Dad and John. As I settle in to life as a grandfather several times over now, I feel a responsibility to carry on from those who did so much before me. Though gone, I know that Dad and John would be happy to know that their families are thriving and growing and that their memory is kept alive by us all.

Remembering Dad

Seven years has melted away since we said goodbye to Dad. He's in our thoughts on this annual day of remembering, but he's with us other times, too.

It has been an intense year of family activities, with weddings, births and deaths. Dad was one to mark always these important life milestones for the individual but also the wider families involved. He would always be there to celebrate the fun events, and had a special way to make his sheer happiness known to us all. Likewise, he was always there for family and friends in grief or in need. He had compassion and a remarkable ability to empathize.

I never fail to think of Dad specially on the occasion of these important family events. His presence is still with us as we experience the huge satisfactions of life, and he's there too for comfort when we're down. I miss his physical presence, but appreciate my continued spiritual connection.

Thanks Dad.

Another year gone by.

Well, tomorrow marks another year that has gone by since the passing of my father, Frank Sigurdson. For the first couple of years, it still felt unreal not to have him around -- especially on the important family occasions he so loved. But as time goes on, his absence has become normal and we are left with still-strong memories and with some beautiful lessons to help guide us.

As always, Dad missed a lot this year. Retirements, births, weddings, new jobs, new homes -- all the things that happen in the life of a large, extended family. We think of him often, at these special times, to be sure. But we also still think of him when something small kindly reminds us of him or when we feel down or lost, and we wish we could just talk to him one more time.

My father had a full and rewarding life, professionally and personally. His legacy resides in the many lives he touched as a teacher and as a progressive school administrator, one who did all he could to make a difference for inner city youth. As well, he lives on through the family he nurtured and supported. We are still sustained by the love he showed for my mother, his children and our families, and for all of his relatives -- far-flung or closer to home.

Six years after Dad's passing, we are blessed with the fact that Mom is thriving -- enjoying remarkable health and getting wiser by the day. She is surrounded with friendship and love, and she means so much to us all. Indeed, Mom has been the fulcrum of our family for these years. Dad would be so happy to know how she is flourishing and how well all of his family is doing.

Mom and my daughter, Charlotte, went through some old photos this past while, and here is a sample of ones with Dad. It makes my heart surge to see them. I hope you enjoy them, too.

Five Years After, Still Miss You Dad

It is hard to believe that another year has passed since my father, Frank Sigurdson's death on February 2, 2010. Needless to say, I miss him terribly and I know that so many others do as well. Still, his memory provides us with a great deal of comfort.

For all of us, I imagine, remembering someone is a uniquely personal experience. For me, as a father myself, I can't help but reflect on how much I learned about being a parent from my own dad. We are different people, of course, but I like to think that I absorbed some of his lessons about being a supportive, compassionate and present father.

More recently, as I grow older, I can't help marking my own timelines and thinking about where dad was in his life at the stage I'm at now. Well, here we diverge quite a bit. Thankfully, I'm in pretty good health (or at least I hope I am) at the present. But for Dad, unfortunately, the age I'm at now was when he suffered a very severe second heart attack and underwent triple bypass surgery. These were events that totally changed his life. For one thing, he decided to take early retirement. (Now, for me, retirement is something I never even think about, and don't see how I could ever afford it - but that is another story). As for Dad, I am sure that he left behind hopes and unfulfilled career objectives, but retirement also suited him very much and he and Mom got to spend lots of happy years together. Yet, his health concerns did limit his quality of life, especially in his later years.

In spite of that, I remember Dad in his retirement years as an exceptionally connected grandfather. Even for his grandchildren in England or those living in far-away places in Canada, Dad was an interested and highly interactive presence in their lives. He took to computers, for instance, and used each new technological opportunity to keep in touch. He never missed a key life event, and when he saw them, his grandchildren were the centre of his attention. I don't know what sort of grandfather I might be, but again, I could take lessons from the master.

Dad was always proud of his Icelandic heritage, and it is too bad that he did not live to see his granddaughter, Erika, pursuing her academic career at the University of Iceland and living there with her husband, Jason. But again, he did spend time with her in Iceland, on a very meaningful trip. In 2009, only a few months before his death, I took Dad to Iceland for a wonderful visit. It was very special that Erika came up from  England, where she was doing her PhD, to join us for the week we were in Reykjavik (Dad and I then took a car up north to Akureyri, where his mother's people still live). We rented a lovely, roomy apartment in this city and spent lots of time together. Those are fond memories.

Dad would have loved to have seen Charlotte graduate from law school, and he would have loved to be at her upcoming wedding to Lee, whom I know Dad would have really liked. He loved to have family around and to celebrated happy times, so a year full of weddings would have been great for him. My daughter Lorraine is also getting married, and also to a terrific guy, Mike, who Dad would love. Anton's upcoming graduation from Engineering is another event Dad will miss. But it is nice to think of him on those happy occasions, and to be able to say honestly just how much he'd enjoy them. It is a bond we have, because of how important he was to us all.

Finally, a sad thing for me, though, is that my youngest, Nola, never had the chance to get to know my father -- or either of her grandfathers -- both of whom would have been so terrific for her. (Below is a photo of Dad and baby Nola.)

Sunday evening ...

It's Sunday night and I'm at my laptop - reading and writing work-related emails late in the evening, preparing for the coming week. It makes me think of my dad. Every Sunday night during the school year, my dad, who was a school principal, would brew a pot of coffee and sit at the dining room table (the same table, btw, that I'm now so proud to have in my own home). He'd pull out a stack of papers that he had to go through, concentrating grumpily, and prepare for his week ahead. I remember this vividly. It's one of my strongest memories of my dad during my childhood years. And now, my own Sunday night routine reminds me so much of his (though he didn't work at a laptop). It also reminds me of how dearly I miss him. Every day, not just Sundays.

Father's Day

It's Father's Day and, of course, I miss my dad today. He was always one to enjoy special days of any kind -- birthdays, holidays, mother's and father's days. He loved to have the family close to him, and was so often the centre around which most of the activity revolved. Dad was truly in his element with a grandchild on his knee, while holding court with everyone else about the hottest topics of the day.

One of my special memories with Dad came almost exactly this time of year in 2009 when he and I took a trip to Iceland. Erika came up from England and joined us for a week in Reykjavík (where, coincidently, she now lives) and we had a terrific time with relatives and sightseeing. Then Dad and I drove to Akureyri, where we visited with another large group of relatives. Although his health was not great at the time (he passed away just seven months after this trip), he amazed me with his energy and enthusiasm for everyone we met and every place we saw. It was particularly special to see the farm where my grandmother was born, and to get a feel for the landscape of that beautiful part of the world. (Below are photos of Dad in Akureyri and at the church next to his mother's farm.)

Anyway, Happy Father's Day, Dad! We miss you but we're grateful that you've left us with so many wonderful memories.